Dear Reader
by xSuuuss
Summary: Harry's last letter.


Dear reader,

This is probably the last letter I'll ever write, considering I am weak. All strength has left my body. The doctor says that I have two weeks more to live, a month if I'm lucky. It had shocked me at first, to know that I only have such a short time left on this earth. But I have come to accept it, to embrace it. I have been fighting this for so long, and now I can finally rest. Just a few more weeks, and I can rest forever.

I am not scared. Death does not frighten me, like it does most people. I have died once before, and it was peaceful. But it wasn't my time then, I had to go back. But this time, I feel that it is right. It is my time to leave. I am not worried about myself; I have lived a good life.

No, the ones I am worried for are my friends and family. Draco, my beloved husband. He's been having it hard, and I know it will get worse after I'm gone. He loves me dearly, and I am afraid for his well being. I am not sure if he can make it without me. Yes, he is strong, but you can only push a person so far before he breaks.

Our two beautiful children; for them I am not worried. Lucy is a strong, smart girl, all grown up. She'll miss me, and there will be times when she can't see the light, but her husband will help her through. She now has her own child coming, her own family to take care of. It saddens me to know I will never see my grandson, I wonder if he'll look like Lucinda.  
Michael will be just fine; he'd always been more drawn to Drake anyways. Recently, he has found the love of his life. A beautiful young woman, Julia. She is a Healer, just like Mike. The two of them will make it; they will live a long, happy life. I can feel it.

For Ron I am not worried either. He, like myself, had a hard time getting used to the fact that he was losing his best friend, but he has come to terms with it over the years. For 34 years, ever since the first time I stepped on the Hogwart's Express, he has been my best friend. Ofcourse, Hermione was my best friend too, but differently. First of all, Hermione was my girl best friend. And second, Ron was my first friend, ever. He was the first one who accepted me for who I was. And for that, I will always be grateful.

I am worried for Hermione, though. Yes, she has Ron and their four fantastic children, but she's never been really good at saying goodbye. Even though she is a strong, independent woman, she's going to have a hard time, and I am glad that she can find comfort in Ron's arms. I know the two of them will welcome Draco with open arms, and I am glad I am not leaving him all alone.  
No, Draco will certainly not be alone. He has Blaise and Pansy, Hermione and Ron, Ginny and Daphne, Neville and Luna, Seamus and Dean... But he won't have me. Oh, how I wish I could still be there for him.

Life is not fair; it never is. I've spent more time thinking about how unfair life is than I want to admit. For years, I've been angry. Angry that I'm the one that got sick. Angry that it was I who fell sick with the only illness magic can't curse. Angry that it was me who got cancer. Me, the saviour of the Wizarding World, the Boy who Lived, the defeater of Voldemort. All my life I have lived by the rules, never have I ever purposely hurt someone, and still I am the one who gets punished.

I was angry, for when everyone thought we could finally live our life in peace, it all came crashing down again. I was angry for Draco, who had bettered his life and still got punished. I was angry for Blaise and Pansy for the same reasons. I was angry for Ron, Hermione, for all my friends and family. Because we all fought so hard to make this world a better place, and yet, we are the ones that have to go through all this pain.

We are the ones who have to deal with all of this, while people like Lucius Malfoy are out there, living their life to the fullest, not a care in the world.

No, it definitely isn't right that I and the ones around me had to suffer for all these years. But there's very little right in this world nowadays, eh? People die every day, so what's one more?

I just wish I didn't have to leave Draco. He was so fragile, back then. I was to one to pick him up and fix him. What if he won't make it without me?

God, Drake, I hope you'll find happiness. You, out of all people, deserve it the most. Please don't stop searching for love after I'm gone. I want you to be happy, even if it is with someone else. Find someone who can take care of you. I love you.

The most comforting thing about dying is to know that there are many people waiting on me. My parents, Sirius, Lupin, Dumbledore, Molly, Arthur, Fred, Tonks...  
They are all up there, welcoming me with open arms.

It's funny, actually. It's like life always wants me to fight something. First my abusive uncle, then Voldemort, then Draco's depression, and then cancer. Amusing, how I can defeat the Darkest Lord of the century but I can't fight a muggle illness.

I still remember when it had started. The throwing up, losing hair and weight, getting paler and paler... Lately, if you look hard enough, you can see my bones. It's like my skin is becoming transparent. The worst thing is that I can literally feel the life being sucked out of me. I get weaker and weaker, I can't even sit up straight anymore, I always need to lean against a pillow.

I can't cuddle with Draco anymore; I am so thin now that my bones leave bruises on his skin. Oh, poor Draco. He has cried so much the last years. He tried his best to stay strong, for me, for the kids, for himself. But I hear him cry at night when he thinks I'm asleep. I see the pain on his face when he thinks no one is looking. Please, please be okay, Draco. Try, for me. For Lucy. For Mike. For our friends. Live your life to the fullest, and then come back to me. I won't be far. I'll never be far away.

I have to stop writing now; I don't have enough energy anymore.

For my children and my closest friends- stay strong. Comfort each other; find strength in each other's embraces. I'm sorry for leaving you, but my time has come. Thank you, for the beautiful times you have given me. My life was worth living because of you. We all knew this day was coming, and we were lucky to have time to say goodbye. There are lots of people who can't even say goodbye to their loved ones. I love you all, more than words can describe. Live for me. And take care of Draco, please, he won't be the same after this.

Draco. My lovely, beautiful, amazing Draco. Thank you. Thank you so, so much for giving me the best years of my life. Thank you for making each second the best. Thank you for filling me with love, for giving me two amazing children. Thank you for staying with me through all of the ups and the downs.  
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you behind. But you are strong, Draco. Stronger than you think you are.  
Please, for me, don't lock yourself away. Don't shut everyone out. You'll need them. And they'll need you. Find strength in them, Drake. In our friends, in our children, and in our memories.

We'll see each other again, Draco. We are bonded. That is one thing I know for sure. I love you, Draco Abraxas Malfoy-Potter. Every day for the rest of eternity.

THE END.


End file.
